Motions

This probably applies to lots of things so that’s why I’m throwing it up in a blog post. Right now, it applies to my life as a full time patient living along side multiple chronic diseases. Side note: People with chronic health diseases often have anxiety and or depression.

 

Going through the motions

The alarm starts playing music and your eyes crack open.
Crawl out of bed in the morning.
Shuffle to the bathroom.
Stumble to the kitchen.
Collect the foods necessary to build a breakfast.
See the husband off to work.
Now you’re alone with the cats.
Eat breakfast not because you’re hungry,
but because you need to take your meds.
Check your calendar. When is the next doctor appointment?
Nothing today. Breathe a sigh of relief.
Shuffle back to the bathroom –
take the rest of your meds.
Is it a bad day?
Then sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket, staring at Netflix.
Is it a better day? Have your meds kicked in yet?
Then find a book, or knit a sock.
Around noon, gather foods again.
Eat again. Maybe you’re hungry this time.
Check Twitter. Wonder how the little people inside your phone are fairing.
After lunch?
Maybe you can wash dishes or collect laundry from the bedroom closet.
Maybe you can care for the cats.
Maybe you can knit some more.
But maybe you’ll need to nap instead.
Check the freezer. Make plans for dinner.
Wonder where the day has gone. Check Twitter again.
Have a snack. Chocolate sounds good.
Don’t forget any meds.
Before you know it, the day is mostly gone. Your husband is finally home.
Dinner time.
Your husband cooks. Some days dinner is the best thing.
After dinner?
If it’s a better day maybe there will be some game playing, or some conversation.
If it’s a bad day, there won’t be much of anything. You’d be sad about the bad days if you could think through the fog.
Then it’s time for more meds.
Then it’s time for bedtime, and more meds.
Finally, you can go back to bed again.
When will it be easier? Maybe tomorrow it will be easier. Maybe tomorrow is finally the day.

There’s no way to know.

Tomorrow you go through the motions all over again.

Author: Histamine Queen

Nerd, wife, knitter, writer, cat mom, and comic book reader w/masters of science in Applied Sociology. I have histamine intolerance, lots of food allergies and sensitivities - including gluten. And I have multiple sclerosis fibromyalgia, asthma, drug allergies, and migraines. Basically, I have a collection of invisible chronic health problems. I don't just survive these things, but sometimes I do hate them because I see doctors so often that keeping healthy and staying full time employed is currently impossible.