Cat Life Recommendations: Catnip toys

Not all catnip filled toys are created equally. We’ve tried quite a few brands and shapes. There’s one specific toy we were introduced to when we adopted Rey and Finn almost 2 years ago. It’s the only catnip toy worth it as far as we are concerned (we includes the cats here.)

brand new catnip banana toy, fresh out of the box
new toy on the right, lightly used toy on the left
catnip banana toy, well loved

Two of our cats will literally tear these open to get at the catnip.

You can find these on amazon dot com, chewy dot com and in pet stores. They are $5 to $6 each. Yes, that seems expensive, but trust me, it’s worth it.

NIN Set List from NOLA 2018 turned into playlist

Mostly I want to record these links somewhere together so this seems like a good spot!

The article where I found the set list for a concert on November 25, 2018, in New Orleans LA.

The cover by NIN of David Bowie’s “I can’t give everything away.” – youtube because the song isn’t on Google Music.

The album of NIN and David Bowie performing together in 1995 which past me would have probably loved for so many reasons. (The lost teenager inside me is sad right now.)

And the playlist I made on Google Music trying to get as close to the set list as possible. There’s David Bowie songs on it though.

What mind am I in today?

Here’s a poem (?) I wrote sometime in the past few months when I decided to do some writing about mental health and my mental illness symptoms.  I don’t remember writing it. It sorta sounds like me but doesn’t all at the same time. I can’t tell if it still needs an ending/if it’s complete. I’ll leave the interpretation up to the reader.

Some days I don’t like living in my mind

The weather is always changing.
Nothing is where I remember leaving it.
Doors that were open yesterday are locked today.
Stairs and routes from rooms to rooms change, often overnight.
Windows don’t work right, they won’t shut or they won’t open. The blinds will get stuck too.
Sometimes I wish it was brighter so it would be easier to find my memories.
Other times I wish I had more rugs.
You can sweep things under rugs but eventually the rugs stop laying flat and you trip.
There’s no way to forecast the weather, it can change stormy in a breath –
Or be calm and quiet in a breath.
Days and days everything will be as I expect
But then
Something happens. Someone happens. Time passes.
And the rules.
My mind has so many rules to keep track of too.
Rules for talking to people, feeling, being alone. Rules that have nothing to do with my body.
Some days everything is stress. Everything is bad.
Sometimes I can’t leave the house. I can’t deal with anyone.

Fitbit heart rate tracking illustrating stress

I find it fascinating to see the effects of physical and psychological stress evident because of tracking sleep, heart rate, and activity level via my fitbit. Because of my personal physical and mental illnesses I overreact to stress at like a biological level.

Here’s some screenshots of my heart rate history…..

This first picture shows my week at Mayo Clinic. The highlighted day, May 25, was a Friday and the last day I had an appointment. I went home May 26. This was one of the most stressful experiences of my life.

Now for the next screenshot. This one is slightly different. It shows the first day I felt better after getting sick after getting home from my trip to Mayo.

Third one shows an instance where I wasn’t as stressed as I thought while still being super stressed and upset… I had a number of distressing or anxious experiences. One triggered a 1.5 day migraine that I think was followed by a dissociative episode lasting 4? days. July 13 was the day after I received my first round of neuro/psych testing results and was extremely frustrated by the news.

And the last picture. This is the day after I had my appointment about all of my neuro/psych testing. This time I finally had a doctor ask me the right questions and confirm there’s something else different about my mental health and identity something I can do to make my life easier. It’ll take work but maybe I can spend less time on a roller coaster.

This post brought to you by early morning insomnia.

Why we can’t have nice things: Fear and Mental Illness

I started writing this post back in June. Why didn’t I publish it? —

I don’t have the ‘official’ diagnosis for BPD or borderline personality disorder yet. However, from what little I’ve read it explains so much. More things keep ‘clicking’ and if I don’t end up with this diagnosis I’ll be asking the doctor what looks like BPD but isn’t.

Recently, I read this from Psychology Today. It’s about people with BPD fearing what their emotions will do. The article says it better. Then things just clicked. HOLY Fucking SHIT I keep getting answers. This article even potentially explains what happened when my physical health became worse.

I live in fear and I feel like very little is under my control.

Fear that something bad is going to happen. Fear that someone is going to think something bad of me. Fear that something bad is going to happen to a person close to me. Fear that I will upset someone. Fear I will overreact to something small and mundane and not be able to calm down. Fear that something physically is going to happen to me when I’m not at home and I won’t be prepared – like a sudden migraine or an allergic reaction. Fear of getting lost. Fear of what will happen if I end up upset and can’t control it and end up more upset. Fear of losing friends if they _____. Fear of harassment on the Internet. Fear of having to wait 30 minutes or more for a doctor appointment. Some of these fears I’ve been able to logically move past. Some of these fears I think I cope with by just not feeling.

I didn’t realize it was fear until after all my testing for personality disorders and after reading that article. This explains why I find compartmentalizing my emotions so dangerous. If I ‘save it up’ to feel later it will be so much worse, especially because I’m afraid of what will happen. And I’ll forget about it, until it comes back, like because something has triggered an emotion or memory.

Rereading this, most of it seems ridiculous. I’m not actively fearing for my life. I live in a relatively safe area. I isolate myself quite often and literally have less of a chance of being in a dangerous situation. But mental illness is ridiculous. Mental illness is illogical. It’s difficult. I’m going to go out on the metaphorical limb here and assume I was afraid to make these words public, despite the fact that in terms of the Internet in 2018 my blog basically doesn’t exist. Again, mental illness doesn’t make sense.

More logically, I didn’t post this because I’m still waiting to hear back from the doctor in charge of looking at all the testing I did for personality disorders. The initial information I received in early July is that I have depression and anxiety. That’s it. There was something about not exhibiting behavior for BPD. I still have so many questions. But that doesn’t explain so many things. I’ve realized a good chunk of my daily behavior is impulsive. From stress eating almost daily to suddenly getting up in the middle of a TV show because I decided to do something else like go play a game on my computer to deciding to clean out the closet. My impulsive behavior is collecting hundreds of kindle samples and thousands of knitting patterns. Or starting 8 different books before I decide to actually read one. Deciding I need a new pair of shoes today. Then there’s the mood swings and the times where I don’t remember what I did all day, even when I try. It’s not like when you can’t remember what you ate for dinner last night. It’s because there’s a dark hole in my mind instead of memories. I fear something happening that will remind me of a bad experience and then my emotions will stir up – like a sudden summer storm that might spawn a tornado.

And leaving the house. Oh. Leaving the house and being around people is exhausting. Conversations have so many rules to follow. Small talk is tedious. Avoiding people is easier. Driving somewhere is stressful. You can’t trust drivers around you. Most people drive distracted. If I get cut off or something else sudden happens I could spend hours shaking from the jump in my heart rate. Then there’s the physical problems like making sure I have snacks because it’s so hard to find something safe to eat outside of the house. It’s so much easier to stay home, inside, away from everything. Besides, home has netflix and our cats and a supply of chocolate.

Because of my health and my anxiety, I spend all day trying to keep my thoughts, emotions, and impulses under control. I can’t go shopping because I don’t have a job and we have a mortgage. I can’t just go for a walk because it’s summer in Texas and my body doesn’t tolerate heat over like 77 degrees (F). I can’t spend hours in the kitchen baking because I won’t be able to do anything after I’m done – and I don’t know if I’ll be able to clean up everything before it’s time for dinner. I’m jealous of people who can drink alcohol and eat whatever they want. I’ve started to impulsively “break” my diet. I’m gluten intolerant and it clearly still causes problems but I’ve started eating foods with gluten again. Thankfully I’ve been on a high dose of a mood stabilizer for years. I still have mood swings. I’m afraid of the mood swings now. Or something triggering me into feeling overwhelmed by emotion. I’m afraid because every time something happens that’s difficult, it’s harder to calm down afterwards. Harder and harder. And the migraines. Because some things are better I can see how stress triggers the migraines. Last time I had a migraine I lost 5 days. I don’t remember what I did.

I suspect? Assume? I fear?  Probably fear. That when I finally hear back from the doctor who is in charge of the neuro-psychological testing I completed in the end of June and being of July he’s going to tell me I don’t have BPD at the current time because I don’t have the extreme behavior – because I limit and control myself via anxiety and fear. And then that means I’ll have mental illness symptoms that doctors can’t explain on top of my long list of physical symptoms that doctors cannot explain when all I want is help to straighten out my mental health so that maybe just maybe my physical symptoms will calm down too. I’m afraid this doctor does not truly understand what living with chronic illness and chronic pain means.

*scrolls back up*

So I guess I didn’t publish that post because I knew I had a lot more to say and I didn’t want to face it. (And if you read the entirety of this blog post hopefully it wasn’t as painful as I imagine it to be. You deserve a cookie, or a strong drink, or some ice cream. (Also, I’m afraid to reread this for edits or I might not publish it.))

My mind is a place I don’t want to be and I don’t know what to do about it. I think that means I don’t know who I am either. 

And not remembering how I feel at home when I can’t bear to leave the house when I do actually leave the house to see doctors isn’t helping.


Image courtesy of Inspiro bot. If you aren’t familiar, you should be. https://www.instagram.com/inspirobot.me/ or http://inspirobot.me/

My Hobbies and not Hobbies this summer

So far I have –

  • knitting: “Stitch Your Stash” (Local to DFW Texas) started June 1, 2018. I’ve got way too many projects started. Like usual.
  • knitting: “Tour-de-Sock” (not local) – I’ve registered and debating if I want to knit the crazy “warm up” pattern.
  • Camp NaNoWrimo in July.
  • I “restarted” my novel idea. Ready in time for Camp in July?
  • Doctor appointments. Doctor appointments. Doctor appointments.
  • Movies! Haven’t seen Solo yet. Looking forward to Ocean’s 8. Something else too. Deadpool 2 is awesome. Go see it if you haven’t.
  • Learning more about Borderline Personality Disorder and schedule testing. It’s an answer for a lot of things and I want answers, not excuses.
  • Computer games. I think it’s time to continue more of the larger quest lines in Fallout 4.
  • More computer games. Started playing Hearthstone and Eternal. Do I want to read about Hearthstone deck building?
  • Keeping the potted plants. The pepper plants need repotted into bigger pots but it’s *hot* outside. Highs in the 90s, daily.

What’s something interesting going on for you?

My Mayo Clinic Experience

I’d like to record something about my experience at Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota  in May 2018, but I’m not sure how to go about it yet. I was there 7 days total counting arrival and departure days. It cost over $1500. I was referred by one of my doctors. It appeared to be impossible to get in on my own. I tried.

If you don’t count learning how my mind and body reacts to being made to deal with mental and physical stress outside of its safe environment (is that really productive?) — I had a solitary productive appointment while I was there.

I didn’t have the time or energy to really explore the area and appreciate the small museum quality displays throughout the main building on the Mayo campus.

If I were to sum up the experience, it was completely misleading and I never would have traveled with just one guaranteed appointment. Mayo Clinic does nothing to welcome or introduce patients to their services. I also recommend no one with chronic illnesses goes to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

I’m still deciding if I should go into detail about the experience.

Reader, would you like me to share?

My DFW Fiber Fest 2018 haul

Last year I didn’t go because of how much yarn I purchased in 2016. I almost didn’t go this year except that the small businesses who attend conventions/shows/fests like this, usually have some kind of limited supply thing. This year, instead of posting a bunch of random pictures on social media I decided to write up a blog post! This means I’m adding project information too. Side note: I recommend attending something like this with a plan.

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Obligatory? picture of the pamphlet which includes information the classes I can’t attend because it’s too far from home and I’d have too much issues with pain.

Some more bags that I probably don’t need but look at the designs!!!! The first is from Diana Couture. I’m definitely a fan. The little red bag is by Grace’s Cases. I happened to buy one of her bags online and then accidentally learned she was at the show. If you like smooth tops to your project bags, check out her sacks.
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That little baby zipper bag is for stitch markers and it would work for coins too.
(Also from Grace’s Cases.) I plan to use this teal gradient set for some sort of crescent shaped shawl. Unfamiliar with the yarn and can’t remember where I got it besides a place out of Colorado, but it filled the hole in my stash for a nice single color gradient.

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And some self striping yarn from Brazen Stitchery. Socks or mitts, undecided for now.

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And some specific planned projects:

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This pair of yarn carnival on the left is a gray and sorta mother of pearl and I plan to make this shawl out of it. The pair of yarn carnival on the left is for a color work cowl. I started a color work scarf and it blew up my brain after the first row. I’m hoping the cowl will be some good learning.  The purple will be the dragon.

And then I made 2 sets of half skeins from Lazy Cat Yarns for some smaller striped shawls. (How cool is half skeins of fingering weight? Right?) One is for Milky Way and one is for Intergalactic.

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And I’ll end with the single skeins I bought. The first one is inspired by blue bonnet flowers and will be paired with simple black to make this shawl. It’s by Destination Yarns and it’s smooshy!

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This next skein is by Leon Alexander and the picture doesn’t do it justice. Don’t miss the green in there. I’m currently trying it out in this zig zaggy shawl scarf thing. Their yarn is amazing and bright.

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And last, a yarn that’s new to me and a color I usually don’t go for. It hasn’t told me what it wants to be when it grows up. They had so many different colors and I hope they update their online store on a regular basis. I must keep an eye.

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And then two weeks after we were at DFW Fiberfest I bought some yarn from yarn dot com to finish out for a sweater. So many projects, so little time.

Depression

This is the first winter season I’ve not been on (strong) antidepressants since 2012? And I possibly should have been on something before then, but I’m also currently taking another medicine that’s a mood stabilizer and I know it’s helping too. Side note, my biggest known depression symptom is the “losing interest in activities you enjoy.” Except for video games, of course.

In the past I always assumed I got stressed around the holidays because of how people being stressed in general can make you stressed. And holiday STUFF. This time, there was less to be stressed about. (We didn’t do official presents for example.)

After a couple of days of barely being able to cope with anything external to me – about a month ago? I started to put things together and looked up seasonal affective disorder.

First, there’s this:

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is not considered as a separate disorder. It is a type of depression displaying a recurring seasonal pattern. To be diagnosed with SAD, people must meet full criteria for major depression coinciding with specific seasons (appearing in the winter or summer months) for at least 2 years. Seasonal depressions must be much more frequent than any non-seasonal depressions.

Huh. So what I assumed was stress was likely my depression being worse. Back to having difficulty with lots of stuff, like the prospect of needing to make an unexpected phone call basically causing my brain to shut down. Add in my counselor getting sick and having to reschedule counseling a bunch, when I actually really want to go because I want to talk about this SAD thing. Then I remember how I had similar problems last year where I really wanted to see my counselor but she got seriously sick. (I’m hoping she’s “just got the flu” but the flu is pretty tough this year.)

Then everything began to come together, especially when I read this part:

Symptoms of the Winter Pattern of SAD include:

  • Having low energy
  • Hypersomnia
  • Overeating
  • Weight gain
  • Craving for carbohydrates
  • Social withdrawal (feel like “hibernating”)

Oh. huh. Hibernating! So not seeing people and not being on social media and not writing blog posts and just basically being at home, depression explains all of it. I think I’ve become an expert at being functionally depressed. Do the stuff that needs to be done. And I’ve been having no trouble getting to sleep and sleeping like the dead most nights. That’s not normal for me. This coupled with regular depression symptoms explains why I had so much trouble with NaNoWriMo in November and why I come up with all my new knitting project ideas in the summer. Quoting from here by the way.

My advice for dealing with chronic thrush

This excludes medicinal intervention. This is not medical advice; I assume you’re an adult and you accept the consequences of your actions.

Peppermint has documented anti-fungal properties. I have tested and discovered that peppermint tea daily will help keep the thrush down. I’ve also started drinking some mint or peppermint tea after drinking milk or eating sweets like ice cream. If I don’t drink peppermint or mint tea for a few days, the thrush can start to make a comeback.

Probiotics. Prescript-assist probiotics suggest you empty a capsule into your mouth to help combat the thrush. I suggest doing this at bedtime. It helps. Also, taking a probiotic normally of course helps.

Sinus washing. If you get congested when you have thrush, it could be traveling up into your sinuses. Sinus wash can help remove the thrush, slow it down. I prefer the bottle style and recommend this brand. Make sure you use distilled water. Please, use distilled water.

Depending on your situation, you might also find a tongue scraper to  be useful. You have to be careful because a tongue irritated by thrush is more likely to bleed. You can use a tongue scraper too much.

If you get really desperate, you can mix hydrogen peroxide and water together and gargle. It helps to tilt your head back and let the mixture sit for 5-10 seconds. You need a quarter of the amount of peroxide compared to the amount of water. Put some water in a cup, and just a tiny bit of peroxide. Do not swallow. Do not do this very often because it could also effect the positive bacteria in your mouth.

 

The yeast is coming back

For my records, an attempt to stay in control of my brain, and anyone who wants to follow my super exciting life:

My last infusion was August 30, 2017 and yesterday afternoon – September 3, 2017 – symptoms started coming back. Took about 4 days. Last night my fitbit showed less than 10 minutes of deep sleep. I’ve been up to go to the bathroom 5 times in 3 hours? I did eat/drink a few things high in sugar but I didn’t do anything *crazy* …. I wonder if I can manage diflucan despite the red 40 since I managed the mycamine despite the histamine reaction. Clearly the 3 weeks of antifungal infusions were step 1. There’s no other option I can think of and live with at the moment. I’m going to double both my probiotics. I remembered last night when laying awake wishing I could sleep that my doctor recommended increasing the Prescript-Assist probiotics. I also made the connection that the problems I started having after 2-3 weeks of new probiotics was die off. I discovered the term for die off is Herxheimer reaction. I’ve also learned there exists a powder for suspension form of diflucan.

Returning symptoms:

  1. neuropathy
  2. back pain
  3. abdominal pain, bloating, constipation
  4. bladder pain/etc.
  5. insomnia
  6. anxiety and depression (worsened by the insomnia of course)
  7. eye pain (WTF on top of WTF)
  8. oral thrush – coating roof of my mouth too
  9. yeast residue in my belly button (You know because it’s white, pasty and smells sour.)
  10. hot flashes and night sweats, flushing yesterday was probably related too
  11. loss of appetite

I have no idea if any of these symptoms are also Herxheimer reaction but I know I’ve definitely got yeast symptoms. I desperately need to know what’s going on. So I’ll be doubling both of my probiotics today, possibly taking one reglan per day for a while, calling my doctor tomorrow and hopefully not crying, and hope this tension headache doesn’t get worse. I just don’t have the words.

Systemic fungal overgrowth is real

Specifically it’s candida. It’s so much more than a “yeast infection.” I just finished once daily 100 mg mycamine (mifungin) infusions. I did this for three weeks via a PICC line. The last week really did the trick. After two weeks I felt like I was 75% or so there. I compared it to being most of the way through your antibiotics course for an infection. Previously, I was almost permanently fighting oral thrush and the visible thrush symptoms would clear up but multiple symptoms with my throat never would. Finally, I insisted and my immunologist did a throat culture – for fungal. It came back in a week for candida. It really was everywhere. I can’t even imagine the stress this was putting on my gastrointestinal tract.

Side note, getting information on candida overgrowth (on the Internet) is maddening because people have such strong opinions about it.  It also might be worth noting there are multiple antifungal oral options. There was something about every single option – either the active ingredient or an inactive ingredient – that meant it wasn’t possible for me. If you’re looking for information I would recommend limiting your searching to Google Scholar. You might call this post a follow up to my previous post about looking for information on fungal overgrowth. I’m also not particularly high risk, like organ transplant or HIV.

Because of the symptoms that have utterly disappeared after the three weeks of infusions, I can say unequivocally that I’ve had this problem for years. It increased in severity in the past 9-12 months. Based on my research, it’s possible that just having multiple sclerosis increased my risk. (No idea how, but I saw more than one academic journal article mentioning it.) Gastroparesis also increases your risk, but this makes sense considering that food sits longer and has more time to basically ferment in your system. Also, eating gluten free and drinking more milk doesn’t help because there’s more sugars to feed the yeast. I suspect MCAS increased my risk too.

Also, to be clear. This is completely amazing to me. Dealing with the PICC line, the infusions, and the systemic symptom blow up from the mycamine itself – because it caused a mast cell flare up – was ultimately worth it. On top of this I can’t put into words how astounded I am that I dealt with this for so long and this candida was just ON ME AND IN ME AND EVERYWHERE.

So, my symptoms. I think a list might be easiest. Most of these symptoms have disappeared. Yes, I’ll say it again, disappeared. Just my skin alone feels better.

External

1. Itchiness. My scalp would get unbearably itchy if I didn’t wash my hair at least every 2 to 3 days. A thousand times worse if I sweated a lot. My entire body would be itchy if I didn’t shower every 2 days at minimum. I had accepted that my skin was so sensitive to everything that I just needed to shower every night as often as possible. I know this to be true because I also washed my hair significantly less during the infusion treatment because of the PICC line and experienced no negative effects. I would have intense under arm itching occasionally too. 

2. Smell/Odor. My bad breath is gone. (My husband might admit to how bad it was if I prod him some more.) My body odor itself is no longer as strong. I could never figure out why I seemed to smell sour after sweating more or showering less. Maybe like three day old beer? (That is so gross I can’t even begin to figure out which emoji is best.) It was unpleasant for me so I have no idea how it was for people around me. But a gradual change in your body odor is not really something you remember to ask the doctor about.

3. Eczema on my feet. A fungal infection on the heels of your feet and around dead skin does not look like a fungal infection on flat skin. I think the yeast was actually worsening eczema on top of causing other issues.

4. Residue. I don’t know what else to call it. The best example is what happened to my underarms. Some time long ago I realized I had this white pasty looking substance under my arms. My under arms were so sensitive I had to stop shaving. I would trim the hair with a simple battery operated trimmer. There continued to be this residue that looked a lot like built up solid antiperspirant/deodorant. I assumed it was a combination of dead skin and deodorant. It was actually reasonable to assume I was allergic to my deodorant.

There’s other parts of my body that has a similar type of “residue” that’ll I skip the details on. Belly button is probably an obvious one. Come to think of it, it was EVEN MY EARS. Basically, if it’s dark and/or moist there was probably a strange white build up if I didn’t shower/clean regularly. I’ve also just realized that I could have the same build up across my skin if I wasn’t able to do something as simple as rub down the length of my arm with a wash cloth in the shower. (Sorry, that’s a horrible sentence.) So, it was everywhere on my skin and if the area was moist (moister?) then it was worse.

I think that’s a good segue for switching to internal, wouldn’t you say? Some of these symptoms I’m not sure how much the yeast overgrowth contributed and how much is from my chronic diseases.

Internal

5. GI symptoms. I have less gas. I’m wondering if removing the inflammation caused by the yeast overgrowth will effectively reduce the severity of symptoms from my gastroparesis.

6. I couldn’t wear tighter clothing – like yoga pants for more than 10-12 hours. Actual leggings which are slightly tighter was even worse. Let me put it this way: chronic vaginal yeast infections do not have the tell tale white … substance. You get “irritation” instead. I put the word irritation in quotes because it seems like an understatement. More time will tell.

7. Sore throat and pain when swallowing. I would wake up in the middle of the night to pee and have a super painful spot in the back of my throat and it would happen again in the morning. I could lose my voice after lots of talking. I think I was drinking more water to compensate for this too. Sore tongue but you couldn’t see it so doctors didn’t believe me. I think I had a layer over my tongue that you couldn’t see without scraping. There was also the sensation of something at the back of my throat or tongue. It’s not something you can easily ignore. (MS can cause problems swallowing, so how was I to know?)

8. A bad taste in my mouth and a weird change to my saliva. I have a suspicion, that might be confirmed with my next dentist appointment next week, that the yeast was interfering so much so that I was at higher risk for cavities. I had all these tiny little cavities 6 months ago and I don’t drink much that’s carbonated, let alone anything like regular soda. The actual consistency to my saliva was also weird and well, wrong. How would you describe it? It was weird.

9. I think maybe my eyes had issues too. It’s weird to consider, hard to describe, and it wasn’t as severe as other parts of my body.

10. My bladder. I already have chronic symptoms because of MS. If I really was drinking more water that wasn’t helping. I might have less inflammation here too, but more time will tell since I was also on prednisone through the infusions.

11. Clearer sinuses and nasal passage. Over the past few months I’ve noticed an increase in crap in my sinuses. Like I was more congested and actually started using sinus wash more. Anyone who uses sinus wash probably understands why this is significant.

12. I should have less systemic inflammation too. This might lead to improvements in my levels of chronic pain and chronic fatigue. Maybe this will help my MCAS be less likely to flare? My migraines had worsened in severity this year, I was experiencing less but they were lasting longer.

13. INCREASED sense of taste. I can remember wondering why some foods seem so bland. I would also search for stronger flavors. The build up of yeast in my mouth was getting between me and my food. As a specific example, there’s a dark chocolate truffle flavored with bergamot among other things that tastes stronger to me. Food might actually be more enjoyable. More time will tell on that one too. Anyone with major food sensitivities and diet restrictions can best appreciate why this improvement is wonderful.

My symptoms had become so widespread and, well, all consuming, that I have realized some things as I’ve written up this blog post. It’s been a crazy experience.

Finding science on the internet about candida overgrowth is almost impossible

Part 1. (edited 8/12/2017 6:30pm CST)J

You could call this post my first attempt at finding information.  It was semi-successful. After finally convincing my immunologist there’s something there, despite no white patches in my mouth; he did a throat culture. Now that I’ve started antifungal infusions I’d love to find some useful* information about fungal overgrowth.

This is one of the better explanations about candida overgrowth that I found from a not academic journal site. And it still has problems. That led me to academic journal searches. What annoys me the most is the utter lack of sources. So there’s no way to know if anything about the food recommendations is accurate. In general, it’s interesting. I didn’t try the ‘spit test’ but I do know my spit is often thick like even when I’m not dehydrated. So, hmmmm. But anyways.

….. I realized after I hit publish I need to point out that I use interesting and possibly credible and definitely questionable sources or sites as ways to get ideas for more research. I’ve been researching for my own benefit for over a decade and only recently decided I’d start sharing some of the things I find since there’s so much out there on the Internet. For example, because of that source I knew to look out for (credible and proven) essential oil usages. …. And now we continue.

I also found an interesting article discussing that dysmotility and PPI use are independent risk factors for bacterial and/or fungal overgrowth. Causes are interesting and helpful to understand – to a point. You reach a point where you want help, not explanations for why.

The other potential I found is a literature review from 2014, and as a general rule, literature reviews are always at least a tiny bit helpful.** That article is behind a pay wall but all the references are available and it’s almost always better to go to the original source. A lot of the references are behind paywalls as well, or very highly specific studies. How about, The epidemiology of hematogenous candidiasis caused by difference Candida species. And then there’s this one, Candida albicans: a review of its history, taxonomy, epidemiology, virulence attributes, and methods of strain differentiation.

The abstract of this article,

“Candidiasis: predisposing factors, prevention, diagnosis and alternative treatment,” mentions: “In the past two decades, it has been observed an abnormal overgrowth in the gastrointestinal, urinary and respiratory tracts, not only in immunocompromised patients, but also related to nosocomial infections and even in healthy individuals. There is a widely variety of causal factors that contribute to yeast infection which means that candidiasis is a good example of a multifactorial syndrome.” I point that out since it mentions gastrointestinal, urinary, and respiratory. Interesting. Wish I could read that one, but again, f’ing paywall. Side note: Need to check the references from it. See? The references are like a reading list.

This article clears up that candida infections can ‘blow up’ into blood stream infections. I know ‘blow up’ is a horrible choice of words. It also uses the words “in certain groups of vulnerable patients…” so this blood stream infection must be super super rare. Here’s another that mentions bloodstream infections. Candida albicans versus non-albicans bloodstream infections: the comparison of risk factors and outcome. (lots of math in that one)

This one has pictures and focuses on specific regions of the body that are infected. (when you hit that link you won’t see pictures, you actually have to keep reading)

And I didn’t know that treatment options for uncomplicated vulvovaginal candidiasis were so controversial. (Or was in 2011.)

This next one I was super excited to find because it’s available! Effects of plant oils on Candida albicans. It’s super short but it’s easy to read and has results. PDF direct link here.

If you understand, or know someone who understands, bacteria biofilms, then this article might be interesting for you. Again, paywall. I got my hopes up since it talked how Candida is affected by salvia and dietary sugars. I’d really like an answer on the sugar thing. A clear, backed by science answer, with details. DETAILS!

I’ve also found information that says I’m at risk for candida infections just because I have MS. Other risk factors include oral birth control and corticosteroids. My thrush got worse after I was on prednisone a few times this year too.

I’m going to try rinsing*** with a few drops of peppermint oil in water before bed, and when my mouth tastes extra foul. Before this I only knew about tea tree oil. Tea tree oil is also foul, but not as horrible as the flavor of candida.

So far the search has been frustrating. It might be helpful to just look for information on fungal overgrowth but then that’s going to run into all the not science information out there about mold exposure.

*useful. Like based in science and cited

**I have a Master of Science in Applied Sociology. I can write an excellent literature review so I know when I spot a bad one. I also learned, in undergrad, how to identify a source as credible. Not everything on the Internet is true, neither is Santa. If I couldn’t successfully judge a source, I would not have graduated with two degrees.

***Don’t swallow. *snicker*