I’m going to give up on the gofundme page and close it the end of the month. I feel like I’m not charismatic enough, or sad enough, or freaked out enough to get some real help with all my medical bills. Or maybe not desperate enough.  I know that can’t be true, or if it is it can’t be something that matters. Being sicker than normal for November and January didn’t help anything either. Maybe I picked the wrong time to try it.

Thank you to the few people who did contribute. I’m grateful. Every little bit does help but at the same time it only helps so much. I have no idea what’ll I’ll end up with after gofundme gets their fees.  I also appreciate the people who shared my store by sharing the link to the page.

As my anxiety problems seem to be increasing, it doesn’t help that either. (That’s not to say I check the site or something.) I might try the youcaring site in a month or two, or something. Or maybe I can wait out the hospital bills just going away. What do I need my credit for anyways? I’m just a sick person who’s applied for disability. Yup, I’ve also officially filed for Social Security Disability.

I’m going to keep plodding on and hope that things get better this year. My news year’s resolutions this year are to avoid the ER and to not be diagnosed with any more chronic diseases. I hope I can actually avoid the ER for an entire 12 months. Well, I say hope, but I’m not sure hope is the right word. I still have a very odd relationship with hope. After three years of health problems, finance problems, and just life not being all that great, there is got to be a break. Something has to give at some point. Right? It’s amazing how much life can change in six months, let alone three years. Three years of declining health also sets you up for a long road of recovery. On top of that, I have no idea how much recovery I can manage since multiple sclerosis means deteriorating health.


And, if you’ve pulled up my blog and read this page? Thank you again.



2 thoughts on “Closing the Gofundme page end of month

  1. I was wondering if you are getting my comments? None if them seem to be moderated- it took me a while to figure out that I actually had to approve each commentator once before their comments would show up. The thing is, the more comments you have, the higher up the search sites you go. Actually- it’s completely selfish- I can’t remember what I have told you and what I haven’t; I need to be able to see my previous comments!!! Of course, if you would prefer not to put up any comments, that is your prerogative!

    I’m so sorry that you are struggling with medical bills on top of everything else. I have to admit, living in Canada makes a big difference when it comes to that sort of thing. I’m very fortunate that I never have to worry about that. I was in the hospital for 3+ weeks last year, and it didn’t cost me anything (well, it costs, but the burden of paying for it rests on all taxpayers). Medications do cost, but fortunately have a program for everybody with a low income; there is a sliding scale deductible, if your prescriptions go over that amount, the government pays 80%, and then there is another threshold where it goes to 100%. I was incredibly lucky to be well established in my career as well, so that I have extended medical coverage (dentistry, chiropractor, etc), and decent long-term disability coverage. Like the US’s Social Security Disability, our equivalent (Disability Pension) is woefully inadequate to cover even the most basic expenses- especially in a place like Vancouver, BC, which consistently Ranks #1 as the Most Expensive city in the world.

    What a shame that your Go Fund Me campaign wasn’t what you had hoped. In order for those to work, your story has to go viral. Fellow bloggers with a disability like me don’t have anything extra, and since you are so young, I’m guessing that most of your friends are struggling to find a job fresh out of school- it takes time to get established. They probably don’t have a lot of extra cash either. I think you will need to get a bigger pool of people! I really don’t know what makes things go viral- I expect that there are certain commonalities though.

    Good luck with your disability forms- I’ve heard that they are very stringent about who gets approved, and they can be downright wrong sometimes. Fingers crossed! That would make life easier. The last thing you need is to be concerned about money, on top of everything else, definitely not fair!. I get the sense that you are trying to avoid the ER because it costs too much- you should avoid it because you want to stay healthy- all other reasons should be moot! There must be a way to make it work- even if it means declaring bankruptcy- who cares about your credit when your health is in jeopardy?

    I too have been sick for three years, and recently I’ve really shifted focus. I too, used to think in terms of ‘getting back to normal’. I’ve now realized that this is my new normal, and living within that new normal means changing the parameters. I’m no longer thinking about ‘moving forward with my career’, it’s changed to ‘finding fulfilling occupation’- a dramatic shift. It’s been so hard. I can only imagine how much harder it is for you- you are almost 20 years younger than I am- you have a lot of living yet to do. Hang in there, and plod on, and fingers crossed that something gives for you this year.


    1. Most of the comments I get on my blog are spam so nothing gets through…and because my blog gets so few hits I don’t check comments regularly.

      I appreciate you sharing your experiences and thoughts. The Gofundme page was also shared across Twitter and Facebook. Honestly, some of it was people not caring to understand. And yes, you’re correct, medical care in the United States is expensive. It’s even more expensive in some states compared to others. Bankruptcy won’t necessarily help. A lot of assistance programs are also based on household income or require you to prove how badly off you are. Bad enough to receive assistance is usually really really bad.

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