characters from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore. with the text: "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Because of working with a therapist to meet and understand my alters or parts, and fighting the urge to declare none of it real, this line really spoke to me.

Since February (2020) I’ve been working with a therapist who’s experienced with dissociation symptoms and DID. Before working with this therapist, a year ago I  worked with a therapist who introduced me to internal family systems therapy and with her guidance I was working to identify my parts. At that time I hadn’t read anything about DID or dissociative disorders and was only recently introduced to the concept of dissociation. I was dissociating a lot but not blacking out completely?? Then that therapist changed jobs and I started seeing a therapist who was experienced in BPD and since I was diagnosed with BPD this seemed like a good thing. We started EMDR. But then the therapist who was doing EMDR with me went on maternity leave so I needed a new therapist. Enter the therapist who’s experienced with DID. So I went back to working on my parts and shared what I’d already learned/identified when I started seeing her. 

Since February I’ve also done some reading on DID and OSDD and so I’ve learned a little… but have so much more to learn. I’ve also read a bit of different dissociative disorder subreddits and picked up some information that way. I haven’t dug into anything too deep because it can lead me to dissociate harder. 

A year ago I had names for two of my parts and identified as many as eight parts but had very little information for quite a few. You have to trick your brain into sharing information. I signed my name to drawings I made, wrote out questions in notebooks, or started a monolog via typing on the laptop hoping the monolog might turn into dialog. All of these things got me different results.